Norman Lear once said Jimmy Walker dated Ann Coulter, but I don't know how serious he was.

Hey Jimmy Walker is a big fan of Donald Trump, so who knows what he's in to.

He's weird, so it's possible.

From what I can tell, humans need to intervene to keep the Canine species alive. My Chihuahua, who is literally a rescued former Stud, humped the head of my neighbor's Cocker Spaniel. That dog does not know his ass from a whole in the ground.

The guy that talks to the skeleton of his dead mother. Yeah, he might have other issues. He's a sly little possum.

Which douchebag is this? I'm sorry I lose track. I don't like stereotyping, but can we just start saying "male Fox News host" with the implicit assumption that they are sending some dick pics to female colleagues?

I wish I could do that. I went through three drafts of this comment.

I did the initial shoot to my magnificent film without a camera as well. I'm currently shopping it to anyone who will listen on the bus. Some nice men are coming with a straitjacket… got to go!

Careful Randy. An apology to Jesse Jackson might become necessary.

Based on Trump's campaign, I figured his connubial aspirations lied elsewhere.

They can borrow my genuine gold-plated shit digging shovel if they need help.

That seems harsh. He gets to keep part of what he stole (after all, we're not savages) and I am guessing house arrest with an ancle bracelet. If he violates parole, maybe a fortnight at Club Fed.

I find Mr. Peepers and Mango to be highly erotic. Tara Reid was somewhere there in the nineties.

The only reason I have really ever watched that show is because Seinfeld went off and I was too lazy to change the channel. It's the Pat of sitcoms. I can't really tell what it is, but there is nothing wrong with it.

Fine Mr. I Still Have Interesting Sex. The Misses and I just turn on an unobjectionable sitcom like The Big Bang Theory and say "We haven't done this in a week, so let's get it over with." Friends or Seinfeld work as well.

That got dark really fast.

Frito Lay chemically induced mutations? We were warned about high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated palm oil, and sodium benzoate.

That's fine. There really was nowhere to go after her magnum opus: Piranha 3D.

You expect me to flip to that damn second keyboard on my cellphone every time I want to spell D-Backs. You Sir ask too much. I'll just let the autocorrect take over and put in the damn apostrophe.

Who cares about the children. How dare you directly quote our actor and place that quote in the appropriate context. You are so sued Vanity Fair.