"You have to wear the purity rings because that's how we can sell sex to little girls, ha-ha." - South Park Mickey Mouse

The Evil Lord Xenu made you say that.

Since it's the nineties, I hear Monica Lewinski likes those BJs.

I don't know how pervasive this is, but I have read about couples getting a divorce when one partner voted for Trump and the other Hillary.

Forensic Proctology?

I'll see men talking or acting like that, and they will actually have a wife or girlfriend. My only thought is, when he gets home, kick him in the damn balls.

I fly into the Albuquerque Sunport a lot. You guys are oddly proud of Breaking Bad. "Albuquerque, come for the Sandia Mountains, stay for the meth."

116 here in the friggin desert. I'm ready to move to San Francisco as soon as I become a tech gazillionaire, which is never.

The real question, is will he reprise the role of Lazarus from Black Snake Moan?

Silly CEO. Gulfstream jets are the in vogue status symbol. Yachts are so last year. I'll let him borrow my copy of Arrogant Bastard Monthly if he missed the latest edition. There is a great article on fucking over employees for a bigger bonus and appreciating your stock options that he may want to read.

Grosse Point Blank is a good one.
"Aw, you just murdered a dozen people for me. Let's get married with the blessing of my Father, who you were going to murder five seconds ago, and live happily ever after." (I actually really like this movie)

No worries. I didn't read any disrespect into your post. Mourning times are important to a lot of people in our culture.

I'm just glad when people are able to move past their grief. I don't want to think about it, but if I lost my wife, that might be it for me. I have a relative that shot himself after his wife passed away.

Still less creepy than the Pelicans' mascot or Ronald McDonald.

Good for you Mr. Oswalt. It sucks losing a loved one unexpectedly.

Hillary Clinton lives and breathes the minutiae of the presidency. She was never able to translate this passion into a realatable message for some voters. I think Hillary would have worked twenty hour days with glee and would have been in a budget conference arguing the merit of timber subsidies. When Donald Trump…

Seems like Poland would be uncomfortable with populist politicians with their experience, but wonders never cease.

It's all speculative, but this is the one election cycle I believe someone like Bernie could have won. I may be dead wrong.

It's on people like me too. I didn't gauge the political climate correctly either. If I had it to do over, I would have backed Bernie Sanders over Hillary Clinton in the primaries. I genuinely believe Bernie would have won with the populist sentiments out there.

I want the birthday card. My patents just laugh and point at my hair going gray.