That's how I won my company chili contest. Wasn't the most productive workday.

I like the cut of your jib. Add in the phrase "tax cut" and you can become a junior republican senator from Anywhere USA.

I'm guessing they are playing "find the orange Tootsie Roll."

Well, Ivanka is under the podium.

I figured it was that big after the operation.

Tried it. People preferred catchy nonsensical catchphrases being screamed loudly by something vaguely resembling a jar of Tang with hair.

M*A*S*H was rated PG. It has nudity, operations, the best equipped dentist in the Army, suicide, and a black doctor named Spearchucker. Ratings are kinda irrelevant.

If at first you don't succeed, try again with a $200 million dollar budget.

You just want to see Maggie Smith naked.

One of the new restaurants that popped up next to me turned out to be a money laundering scheme, so maybe they don't all serve food.

Is Poison Ivy in to the whole biting thing, or is it normal to go around randomly biting super-villains?

But Yelp gave 4 stars to my local Listeria factory, I mean Chipotle.

Don't forget his signature snatch the snatch move.

I could live with Spider-Man teaming up with the Samurai Delicatessen, Roseanne Rossanadanna, and a Land Shark.

Thanks a lot, now we are all on an FBI watchlist.

Wait, I show my wife tons of cute animal pics. Why did she stab me?

"Fuck then both" seemed more like a command. I never thought about Rubio and Ivanka together. You people are putting nightmarish pictures in my head I never wanted.

Ew.

Poor Robin.

Come on Ivanka, take some cues from Jerry Seinfeld and learn how to reject a hug properly. I understand that being around your father might have eliminated the "just say no" approach, but you can. Don't let Rubio or your father grab you.