Let's make whoopee!

- Develop a debilitating caffeine addiction!
- Get thoroughly ogled by the chief of police!
- Take a night job as a barista to pay your cable bill!
- Never, ever, ever, ever iron your shirts!

I don't know what you're talking about, Joel. AVC spammers are my #1 source for cougar MILFS in my area.

I went to an Onion presentation at my college's business school last night and when the speaker asked if there were any Smoove B fans in the house, he was met with utter silence. I've never been so embarrassed for/vindicated in my bitterness toward business school students.

The boyfriend linked me to this last night as I made googly-eyes over Olympic figure skating: http://www.theonion.com/con…

BUT WHO WILL FILL THEIR CRAZY MUSTACHE QUOTA NOW??
WHO?

oh man, I hear this one. The thing is, I KNOW the list of excellent movies I should see is not humanly possible to conquer. I KNOW I'll never be able to see everything I "should," and I know that for every must-see movie I watch, I'll find out about two more to take its place.

also, hey, Zulkey:
You should get into Mr. Show STAT. I fell in love with the show this past year, when my now-boyfriend wooed me by buying me the dvds (it occurs to me now that possibly he was just trying to tell me that the world runs on blowjobs…). Hilarious stuff. The fourth season has some of the most sublimely…

My one and only new year's resolution:
Torrent more good shit. It's all out there! And it's free! Why don't I do this more?

As I recall, the anal beads came with a warning that you weren't to actually use them as anal beads. Which … what the fuck?

I chuckled. I'm not proud.

**~~OBAMA SAYS LOSE BELLY FAT WITH ONE SIMPLE SECRET INVENTED BY A MOM IN ONE EASY STEP DISCREETLY AND FOR FREE~~**

I, too, am hipster-lusting after that shirt. I mean, the eyeball-explodingly intense shade of yellow alone …

School paper swag? I remember getting a box full of anal beads from when Choke came out last year. We had fun swinging them around lasso-style to hit each other from across the room and then surreptitiously sneaking them into our messenger bags.

I don't much care for Grizzly Bear
So I guess I'm just gonna take "dickswinging danger addict" as a compliment.

Damn straight I'm back. And I'm the only one around here who's gonna be doing any gunslinging around here, mister. ::fingers trigger::

Pinkney Seabrook, I love you.

Ugh seriously
What baldly overwrought emotional manipulation and yuppie Whole Foods Hands Across America feel-goodery. I can't believe it was ever … oh, fuck it, I can't put up this facade anymore. All I can say is AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Count me in as a Killers fan. Hot Fuss is damn awesome and catchy and it sounds great loud. Sam's Town doesn't do all it sets out to do, but there are some incredible songs - When You Were Young is fantastic and great to drive to. That's all I really require out of my pop music.

How did I know what to say? They had my lines written down on a script. How did I know where to stand? People showed me.