And still 100 percent awesome. I love ya, Dolly!

"Ramblin' Man," please. Hot damn.

Any list would have to have "Come Back from San Francisco."

Your grandma was messing with your head, bro. Hate to break it to you.

also: "It's not gross, though. It's really just underwhelmingly sad."

Why did I read that? Why?

Oh hey, I didn't mean "brainy" like, you know, BRAINY, I didn't do that on purpose or anything. Gross.

The brainy circle-jerkiness of it all is what keeps us coming back. (We're all kind of friendless in real life.)

O Chang, my Chang, why have you forsaken us? You are a merciless Chang. I weep. Let the AV Club count my tears.

Shut up, Clint Black
Real cowboys don't button up their gay little suit jackets that they've matched exactly to their shirt and tie or whatever. Okay?

Hollywood has a bad habit of casting women as mothers of people only a few years younger than they are. Wouldn't Angelina Jolie have had to birth Colin Farrell at age six or something like that? I mean, granted, "Alexander" has worse problems, but yes. Hollywood doesn't care about women people.

I think it's from Colbert ("great president, or … the greatest president?"), but I could be wrong.

Timmy, have you sinned yet today?

mbs, did you make a lurve connection lately? Awwww! Good luck!

Say what you want about Tammy Wynette
But I think she is awesome. Even D-I-V-O-R-C-E.

Aww, I'm so sorry. getting dumped sucks. But look! A whole list of songs/movies/etc. to listen to in bitter rage/debilitating sadness!! That should help, right? That and the liquor.

Look, I agree that he has talent, and I know that Cerebus is considered an incredible accomplishment. This is just me, here in my little corner, saying that I personally can't get past the fact that he is the most thoroughly misogynistic person working in comics (another incredible accomplishment, considering …). His…

I hate Dave Sim
Generally I try to separate art from artist, but you know what? Screw him. I have no sense of humor or perspective on this, I know, but I absolutely can't bring myself to support anything he does by doing it the favor of reading it.

Finally, a chance to break out my new brass knuckles!

Shatner Face, I love it when people make Rock and Roll High School in-jokes at me. Will you make me the happiest festival slut in the world … and let me sit on your shoulders and flash the crowd at Pitchfork? It seems I'll be going home with that roadie from up there, but still.