You all will like this:

Understandable, Cap. I totally have a girl-crush on her. If I were super cool I would repurpose her tacky 70's wardrobe for maximum ironic hipster awesomeness, but I'm not, so I stick to winged eyeliner and the occasional beret toss.

Yeah, this is the Golden Age of teevee! I know so, because I heard it on This American Life. You all can try to pry my Thursday night Office/30 Rock/Sunny/Target Women FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS.

Chubby, I'm on the other end of that - I love it when my favorite teachers from high school are on Facebook.

whatevs

I have committed the sin of envy
There is a special ring of hell reserved for people who make me dance. (read: people who can dance better than I can)

Oh, well AREN'T the trolls getting elitist 'round these parts! You're wrong, buddy. Think more "bourgie college town."

Smart move on that last one
Don't mess with Mary Tyler Moore. She will CUT a bitch who mess with her.

I am in deep, deep love with my local independent video store (which in in the Chicago area, by the way). So it's cool that everyone everywhere can have that kind of selection, but you'll never tear me away from my corner store.

Nah, Isis, that's cool, I just wanted to take the opportunity to brag.

Heck, Often Posts, I'm giving you points just for calling me "Ms."

ZMF once called me "STONE FUCKING HOTNESS." It was a high point in my life.

Oh, you win, OtP. BABE! BABE! BABE WAIT BABE!

Hipster Love Bag could pretty much amount to a trivia contest. Only the one with the most obscure knowledge of Frank Zappa/Battlestar Galactica/Patton Oswalt/The Wire can win you the heart of (insert the name of your favorite commenter here)!!!

Hot damn, TomWaits. Me and my Gender Studies minor are getting all kinds of hot and bothered by your trenchant analysis. You fellas don't even know how far this whole "let's be awesome sensitive feminist dudes" thing will get you.

UM HELLO MANOWAR it has already happened BECAUSE FAT = UGGO ALL THE TIME DUDE. Only skinny pretty people have ever had sex. Or fun. Or money. Or picnics. Or rainbows.

"Sweatpants and a bucket of chicken" sounds like a date to me!

Permit me to go Feminazi Bonerkiller on you all: that song pisses me off a little. If I were Caroline, I'd be like, listen, ex-boyfriend, it is none of your business what I do with my hair or whether or not there is a Special Happy Sparkle in my eyes anymore. If I want to be angry, I will be angry, and it is not your…

the "two a-holes" sketches consistently cracks me up. My kid brother and I still quote the one from the Christmas tree farm.

This kind of show is a luxury of an almost-bygone economic golden age. Pretty soon we won't have the kind of prize money necessary to attract the top reality talent. We'll have to live in Lutz's "America's Next Top Hobo" sketch.