I've heard that Tom Cruise is dyslexic.  He probably read that as 5'6", and figured he'd be perfect for the role.

I've heard that Tom Cruise is dyslexic.  He probably read that as 5'6", and figured he'd be perfect for the role.

As long as it's not in Mexican.

As long as it's not in Mexican.

That's why I always put on Godblock when spending time outdoors.

That's why I always put on Godblock when spending time outdoors.

What, no Detroit?  Oh, wait, if I didn't live here I wouldn't go anywhere near it either.

What, no Detroit?  Oh, wait, if I didn't live here I wouldn't go anywhere near it either.

There are plenty of 'tards out there living really kick ass lives. My first wife was 'tarded. She's a pilot now.

There are plenty of 'tards out there living really kick ass lives. My first wife was 'tarded. She's a pilot now.

It is.  I also sleep with midgets, drive a Ferrari and suck assholes.

It is.  I also sleep with midgets, drive a Ferrari and suck assholes.

King can (occasionally) write a good book, but he should stay far away from screenplays.  I know it's his creation, but goddamn can he ruin a good book by handling the screenplay himself (see Maximum Overdrive - or, rather, don't see it).

King can (occasionally) write a good book, but he should stay far away from screenplays.  I know it's his creation, but goddamn can he ruin a good book by handling the screenplay himself (see Maximum Overdrive - or, rather, don't see it).

"You know how I know you're gay?"

"You know how I know you're gay?"

Yes, but it's pronounced "Throatwobbler Mangrove."

Yes, but it's pronounced "Throatwobbler Mangrove."

I can't stand other people either.  We should totally not hang out together.

I can't stand other people either.  We should totally not hang out together.