And is much easier to masturbate to than a church sermon.

The church is very litigious, so you should probably say brazenly festering "hemorrhoid."

Ms. Jacobson is ridiculously attractive.

Or David Bowie's Starman. Also about fucking a dog in the ass.

He taught my dad back in high school in Madison Heights, MI. Apparently he was pretty intimidating even in real life.

That's a thing?

Now that's all I can hear.

As is Tony! Toni! Toné!

I hope you meant "69" in age.

A Chris Evans? That might be worth some money now.

I agree.  Johnny Galecki was the kid in Christmas Vacation.  With his talent, he was easily the 11th funniest person in that movie.   

Flip her over and she's a solid 6 1/2. 

I prefer to think that Ellen Degeneres is the male Bob Newhart.

I'm actually hoping it's Garrett Morris’ version.

He was no Thomas Crapper, that's for sure.

There were rumors.

I assume you mean the hamster?

I assume you mean the hamster?

I would add that the Detroit city council is the most incompetent governmental body in the history of mankind, which certainly doesn't help matters.

I would add that the Detroit city council is the most incompetent governmental body in the history of mankind, which certainly doesn't help matters.