I feel that way too, but my family refuses to acknowledge our marriage. Don't they realize how much the streets and I love each other?

I do the same thing, but with sex.

Nathan Thurm is what made me want to become a lawyer.

Mount up!…It means get on your horses.

I'm also a straight guy, but I would gladly watch you bang him.

After Ted McGinley?

The question, then, is who will play the Lucas McCain character.  I vote for Gilbert Gottfried.

He was the one who survived some terrorist attack, then married the woman who ate Delta Burke.  At least I think that's what happened.  My facts are a little hazy.

I will settle for nobody but Ted McGinley.

I hate to state the obvious, but I'm pretty sure he wasn't acting.

At first I read that as "blowing into vulvas."  That may have been enough to get me to watch that show.

I learned the same thing, but I learned it from my marriage.

My pennies smell like poop, but I think that's a function of where I keep my money.

He already apologized.  Isn't that enough?

I don't care how good The Longshots is, this guy is still a douche.

I admit I'm no Biblical scholar, but isn't this one of the signs of the End Times?

I think you're far more likely to get a boyfriend from that.

He could have been making his own bacon-flavored vodka, and he was using the rag to keep the bacon from falling out while he drank it.  That's what I'd do.

That's why I taught my preschooler to call it a bearded clam.

I guess, but I prefer my blow up dolls with their mouths open.