I think it's ambiguous, and non-divorced boomers like the Clintons
probably think it's just a bittersweet passage-of-time ballad. I could
even picture them slow-dancing to the performance but then I throw up in my mouth a bit…

Before I discovered Sean, my life was cosmically a shambles… I was using bits and pieces of whatever snark-ography would drift through my transom…

Trans Am

Keep thumpin' that chest, dummy.

It's kind of amazing to think there might be more bigoted nuts inspired by Clinton's victory than by Obama's, but I guess that's what happens when you have 20+ years of talk radio turning hatred of one family into a Pavlovian exercise…

Well shit, if he could change the minds of climate change deniers or the otherwise complacent, then he's the only guy you really need to save the planet…

Can somebody remind me how the fuck "heart power" is supposed to stack up against command of earth, fire, wind, and water?

There once was a schlub named Ken Bone
With sweater and 'stache in the zone
But in America's verve
They revealed him a perv
And left Ken once more all alone

Nah, Sean's unbreakable. The weary apocalyptic tone is part of the snark. And I don't think he overtly suggested that we AV Clubbers were a major part of the Bone buzz…

Not to mention Teddy Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln were progressives who wouldn't touch today's GOP with a ten foot pole…

Never you mind; the scrotum evolved in all its wrinkled glory precisely to keep that sort of testicular bouncing from happening.

Look how many people still vote for him next month and get back to me with that thought…

That thing's got more personality than his entire face!

♫ You probably think that my pants have the mumps
It's just my sugalumps, bump-ba-bumps
They look so good that's why I keep 'em in the front♫

Why is your dude trying on multiple pairs of glasses/sunglasses?

There's a lot of old untested rape kits out there where it could make a difference…

Lazy shiftless possums…

It's like our generation's Nighthawks by Edward Hopper — that glorious red glow of corporate neon.

Some of the people running his campaign are probably too smart (read sociopathic) to qualify as mentally deficient. Maybe they're morons in terms of the bigger picture of giving a man like that the nuclear codes, sure. There's a certain extreme myopia all his supporters share that defies description; what do you call…

Thanks for getting Shania Twain songs stuck in my head. Thanks a lot.