Damn y'all for making me consult a map, seriously. Alright, with the 2012 election as a metric (http://elections.nytimes.co…, it's basically a tie, with Iowa, Minnesota, and Wisconsin all re-electing Barack with 52-53% of the vote. His home state of Illinois was 57%. Minnesota has 2 Democratic Senators whereas the…

Aw, Iowa City ain't so bad. I mean, there's Lubbock and all the non-Austin shitholes in Texas, plus all the backwaters across the South with their lousy state schools. And, as exhaustively discussed below, at least Iowa's a more liberal state than any neighbor except Illinois [edit: okay, so its liberal majority is on…

"Attention haphephobes and isolation tank-enthusiasts…
…introducing the most unremarkable and uninviting vehicle we've ever made…
the 2015 Ford Taurus…increase aloneness!"

Vaginal smegma, or the Paltrow-approved mousse used to treat it, I can never remember.

Agreed, and this article seemed too much like film-school
masturbation. While we obviously trust our eyes over the comical
descriptions of a gun battle, positing that we truly trust the characters rings false, because this very episode created an epidemic of theories about whether Cohle or Hart was the actual serial…

Finally an answer to the question, can Wes Anderson's cloying materialism even manage to blot out the classic charms of symmetry? But of course, my child! For no mere framing strategy stands a chance against that spiritual maelstrom of privileged preciousness! Lest you doubt, look upon these perfectly split tableaux…

Yawn. If I was going to watch a movie in which a hairy neanderthal massacred campers, I would want that neanderthal to be one of those hyper-conservative survivalists. We don't need mythical beasts when our political polarization and gun-nut culture is more than enough to construct a far more horrific and…

This was ingeniously cheap, but one can't credibly throw stones in the glass house of stupidly expensive POTUS excursions. All modern presidents have made trips that the opposing party spits upon as seeming pointless and wasteful. It's the shitstorm of the Iraq War itself that was "staggering, cost hundreds of…

Marty was especially hilarious in this episode. Just his wide-eyed sipping on a straw in the hospital had me guffawing. And looking at that sweet comb-over and pot belly in profile above, all I can think is,
"It's a tough world, and these guys…nearly got Munsoned…but they're back now. Through the Yellow King, they…

I'm likewise less and less interested in Anderson's films, but find it interesting that most now allude to his style as divisive. Compared to his early films, the flattened delivery and decreased emotional depth of the protagonists seem to throw Anderson's myopia regarding class into sharper relief. That is, with more…

Thank you. I'm just glad nobody's accusing me of having watched Downfall far too many times…I blame the otherwise shitty selection of free movies on Hulu…and of course the Jews.

I admittedly loved the first season's will-they-won't-they tension between Eva's little sister Gretl and SS henchman Fegelein. But then after their season two wedding atop the Eagle's Nest, the writers fell back on the will-they-won't-they tension of whether Heinrich and Hermann would ever admit their true feelings,…

Maybe it's my optimism about my own marriage, but tens years and with
kids under ten qualifies as "early marriage and fatherhood" to me. Yes
"quickly" admittedly wasn't right; I wasn't trying to suggest hastiness so
much as Ribisi symbolizing Beck's return to the fold of hardcore
Scientology, an affiliation he offered…

"Beck might’ve worked his way through some shit here."
Yeah, maybe he's working through some doldrums of early marriage and fatherhood, but I think we can assume he's not going near the much darker shit that mention of Sea Change evinces—the fact that after the break-up that inspired Sea Change, he quickly knocked up…

Just wait until the Mexican version wraps up when we can enjoy a rash of stories about Mexican Walter White wannabes. It's not just the redundant articles about morons, but how many similar morons are going uncaught, like whoever's making all the new dyed-blue meth in NM. The criminal bravado this show has inspired…

Arizona rocking to something as shitty and bitter as Linkin Park just makes me think of the Giffords shooting. At least fellow whacko-conservative state Kansas had the decency to pick a shitty artist with "Church" in his name. In God We Trust, y'all.

That's the one. I can see why these take most of a day to craft. I enjoyed the Art School Confidential spin, but mostly wish neither young man existed.

Yes, and his fledgling attempts to challenge the concept of authorship are a transparent diversion, yet showing such pathetically facile thinking acts as a hedge, causing friends and peers to wonder if he's becoming mentally unstable. And so this cloud of tentative pity precipitates the "he's-just-a-confused-kid"…

I figured out what the Cousin It voice is saying as the hand descends: "Honey, let's make another baby!"
Is there a live video feed of the battle in Kiev to pair this with?

Yeah, I wondered why they didn't just send it privately, lest the other recently departed cast members think, "you fawning little fucks", but they must have calculated that they'd rather take that risk and ensure being in the newly crowned prince's good graces. Yes studio 8H chums, let's publicly mourn the…