But Russell Crowe is in perfect shape to Maximus' bloated corpse.

No, just She-Bop.

12 kids between them… Hanson, the Next Generation, is going to be epic.

And here I was hoping for "Less Drake."

A game show that "pits" celebrities against each other? Sounds real fresh. Who says this country has a problem with celebrity worship?

And here I was wondering why I couldn't find any denim vests at my local Goodwill…

Kevin Bacon was robbed.

Didn't Dafoe win one of these for "Last Temptation of Christ" too? Kids love a good crucifixion.

Fear for our youth.

Best Minus the Bear album (IMHO!) was The Ice Planet, when the dance took a side seat. Infinity Overhead seemed more like a return to form, but nothing grabbed me; perhaps OMNI really just lost me… FOREVER.

The Wallflowers have four albums? I thought they had four songs (and two were "One Headlight").

I understand his motive not to mess up his shirt with barbecue sauce… But shit, wear a bib, man.

Still a better school than Trump University.

Double the Franco, double the fun?

Yes, that's a great campaign slogan!

I always knew that candlestick was a flamer.

Oh no… I'm not falling for that trick. You're trying to get me to punch my monitor!

Hannity is scarred—one time he was in his limo, pulled up to another limo, and when he asked if the passenger if he had any Grey Poupon, he said, "Not that I would share with the likes of you."

I though that pinky scum lived for kale?

But blackened with ketchup is the best way to eat a Trump Steak.