My cult is very legitimate, and we don't deem it a classic. Thus sayeth the master…

I would borrow money from Dan Connor. Omar, not so much…

Animal Farm: A Story of Very Disturbing Rough Gay Sex

Strangeways here we Bomb and Louder than Come.

I prefer the meth-addicted sister, Crystal Pepsi.

*Morrissey reaches out to Annie Lennox, Robin Thicke, and Fred Durst to create a rival supergroup, which critics name 'The Traveling Dingleberries."

Instead of those two, they should have gotten somebody like Bono and the Edge. Imagine what they could do with Spiderman themed music.

He wasn't gonna go their way.

She did it like this, she did it like that, she did it with a wiffle ball bat.

Best single skits by an athlete:
5. Connie Hawkins losing 1-on-1 basketball to Paul Simon's chutzpah
4. Charles Barkley destroying Barney 1-on-1
3. Joe Montana masturbating
2. Peyton Manning Big Brothers football PSA
1.. Michael Jordan's Stuart Smally appearance.

Sammy Hagar ruined the vampire hunter dude?  That must be why we have so many more vampires running around today.

Does the AV Club have someone regularly browsing "Norwegian film sites" for pop culture news?

I thought it was a sequel to the Jon Voight's car episode of Seinfeld…

Sure, it was the Elliphant/Elefant similarity that confused you about your sexuality, not your back-to-back-to-back viewings of Magic Mike…

Mutual of Omaha's Magic Wild Kingdom, using talking photographs of Marlin Perkins…

This raises the question, which SNL alum currently has the best movie career?  Adam (Razzie King) Sandler?

Interactive effects=Haitian Voodoo!  Beware!

There's a bud of potential.

I imagine it depends on the showtime.  That's right for a matinee so you can stop for the earlybird special at Old Country Buffet and still get home before dark.

I wouldn't mind a Post-Office reality show.  I'm curious what the bald black guy, the old red head, and the fat lady with glasses do with their lives now.  No, Scrawler's right, that would be depressing…