The explosion of Krakatoa was so violent that it altered weather patterns for years afterward. The lesson: if you don't want your island to explode, don't name it after what an explosion sounds like.

Both those guys in the clip are balding, doughy white guys in bad suits. Pretty much every middle-aged man in the '80s was cloned from John Saxon.

"Efficiency" Apartment on the 3rd floor?
Captain Lou squeezed a good dozen bums comfortably into that "efficiency" apartment at 227. Now, I've lived in my fair share of studio apartments, and I barely had enough room to fold out my futon on the rare nights I brought a date home!

I read that Zombie is doing a remake of "The Blob" next.

Incident at Loch Ness
deserves a mention, if only for Kitana Baker's gorgeous lady parts.

Fireproof
The review of that other awkward, Christian-themed lurch at mainstream filmmaking was clever and completely appropriate. But heckling a defenseless piece of crap like THIS? Sheesh, it's like throwing pig's blood at the ugly girl on prom night.

No, you're all wrong. It's the prequel to "10", starring Bo Derek and Dudley Moore.

This begs the question: Would "300" have been more homoerotic if the Spartans had worn powdered wigs and pantaloons instead of leather diapers?

"Kill Yourself" by S.O.D.? "Heroin" by The Velvet Underground? "Behind Blue Eyes"? All great choices, but instead we get Pantera. I'm not sure how far revisionism has worked its way into Pantera legend, but Dimebag Darrell DIDN'T commit suicide. Rather, Pantera's music is better suited to an inventory titled "Ram…

Today's big story centers around the killing of District Attorney McGraw…

I hated- HATED- the music of the '90s, but goddam, Ace of Base and Hanson sound like Ella Fitzgerald and Lou Reed compared to Lady Gaga and The Jonas Brothers, respectively.

Some of the deaths in the remake were pretty horrifying. I remember the blob pulling a guy down a sink drain. Plus, it was opaque so the victims could see the half-digested bodies of their friends float by as they were ingested.

Yuggles, I seem to remember something like that in an Office episode, but I've seen it plenty of these presentations in the elective classes I took in grad school. Treacly pop ballads and pictures of drooling mongoloids go together like peanut butter and fluff. Not surprising, really.

The best is when some joker runs a shitty-yet-vaguely-poignant mp3 file over a montage at the end of the slideshow, like when someone uses "I Believe I Can Fly" to score a presentation about The Special Olympics.

The shifting-gravity fight looks quite a bit like the fight between Jason Statham and the Eurotrash villain on the crashing airplane in "Transporter 2". Nolan's formula these days seems to consist of stringing together action movie scenes with several night-filters thrown in. It still looks like a cool movie, though.

Uhhh
There's a reason why writers should, uhh, stick to uh, like, writing and stuff. It's like, uhh, on the fly, they just uhh, don't have the talent to like, uh, articulate actual uhh, speech.

No, it'll follow the trend of adding or subtracting the article, a la "Fast and Furious" and "The Final Destination", hence, "The Alien".

Gerard Butler looks like he's storing nuts in his cheeks for winter. Pudgy chipmunk fuck.

My first was Grant Morrison's "The Filth". It's a fun read now, but back then, I couldn't even look at a comic book for another two years.

So you wanna learn kung-fu, huh? First you hafta learn how to take a SPILL!