All my zombie friends are comin' over tonigggggght!

Her middle name is Agnes.

Hey, everyone! Check out this guy who's trying to equate Diablo Cody with Shakespeare!

"today"…

He means hats that aren't perched on top of assholes…

The Incepid was the sister car of the 6000 SUX…

Because the rights to them are owned by Terrence Mallick?

The wind cried…jesus christ these things stink!

I don't even own a watch.

Are you trying to tell me that Firefox isn't a classic?

FLAGGED (for making a rapier joke)

How is that in any way depressing?

I might regret asking this, but what does "blew my response" mean?

My family is firmly in the Sleepaway Camp.

Hey everyone! Check out this guy over here who thinks we're capable of reading!

Translator!

"Lucky? Lucky to wind up in a town full of losers."

You mean like, "So did you guys blow each other afterwards?"

Yeah, but I bet he gets crazy amounts of Cumbersnatch…

FLAGGED