The person on the far left just cobbled together a bunch of stolen carpet samples.

Shows what you know! I'm actually Jim Belushi.

I am also seeking an actress who hates herself to romance me.

Yeah, I wanted to watch wolves, not some guy playing soft rock.

The producers of To Catch a Predator.

Matt Damon wishes.

Reposted Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Quotes:

"A wise choice, my friend. If you'd said 'no,' I'd have come at you like a hurricane of teeth and fingernails."

The violence has been toned down, and the sex toned waaaaaaaaaay up.

Not in the world I grew up in, buddy.

Coming to theaters this summer…Talk-Ass, starring Jim Carrey.

Yeah, but we (America) have school shootings every year too, so…

You haven't earned it. You may be a fartsmith, but your face always just kind of looks like that^.

In light of recent events in Colorado, he'd damn well better disavow Fire Marshal Bill.

Whoa. This was described as a punk song and it sounds like a punk song. 

Drink milk!
Think milk!
Eat milk!
Be milk!

@Dikachu:disqus Since when are "gay" and "official AVClub Commentariat policy" not just synonyms?

My left leg. Naturally.

I'll take it.

@avclub-eb70e805387fd94edd03a9fb68dbce6d:disqus I'm guessing you're Ruddy.