If I hear any more hoopla from this general vicinity, I'll be back to take down your names and weigh your heads.

Strangely enough, my mom actually loves the show.

COCK QUIZ! COCK QUIZ!

I'm not really a gorilla. I'm actually actor-comedian Kevin McDonald.

She a big ole' fat thing, yes she is.

"Have ya ever…looked at my body, Dan? … Well could ya?"

That's a classic. "Idiot Boy, you mind your droolin' now."

You know what's in wieners? Well there's cows' eyes, and dogs' heads, and old phone books, and of course, wiiiiener flaaaaavor.

That's not the way we do business around here! I'm sorry gentlemen, @avclub-792b765aa995daf26cf6f17f519c949d:disqus's new here, he obviously wants to make a good first impression.

The moon shines bright…OVER LEBANON TONIGHT!

HE'S HIP, HE'S COOL, HE'S 45

Ha, the Oompah Band. I love how after Kevin McDonald-as-his-date finally just walks out, he immediately adds her to the band on triangle.

"Do you have the new Depeche Mode record?"

"This concludes the pre-show part of the show. After that comes the show part of the show, and I think you're all going to particularly enjoy the Describing It To The Police part of the show."

God, that's a great sketch. "Human loser" is a fantastic phrase, and the way he ends it just by saying "Pus!" through clenched teeth after a long pause and then walking off always kills me.

Speaking of the Big Bopper, there's that diarrhea factory right now. Get your fat ass on the plane! I'm Buddy Fuckin' Holly!

LOOK SKYWARD, MORON!

"It's porno…"

Every morning when I wake up, I paint a genital. If I'm too hungover to do that, I photocopy my balls.

I fucking love the crab shampoo sketch. I say "Y'all ain't got no dressing rooms down here in Canada?" way more often than is appropriate.