Spoiler alert!

Helena Bonham Carter should play him.

Inglourious War Hoars!!!

Sorry for this, but…
NO BESTIALITY!!!

To avoid the use of excessive CGI…
They will be setting fire to an actual child actress for every take. It's so much more realistic that way. The only real problem will be the thrashing and the screaming… but I'm sure they can fix that in post.

My Own Jenny McCarthyTM must have got lost in the mail. Who should I contact to report this loss, and can I arrange for a replacement to be despatched? I would so very much like to have My Own Jenny McCarthyTM.

Some sort of clamp over their heads, that will activate if the audience watching their DVD fail to laugh for a set time period… the clamps, if activated, slowly rip their skulls open, exposing their worthless, wasted brains for all to see.

Over here in the UK, a joke about Jesus being "a bit Gay" in the Jerry Springer Opera was met with universal amusement and appreciation… um, except for all the people who protested and tried to get the writers arrested and sent death threats, of course…

Call me Godfrey!

Well, who doesn't? She's America's sweetheart.

@ much more cleverer

Perhaps a water-proof container you can wear around your neck to keep your cheese balls cool and dry while you're in the hot-tub?

Dammit!
I need a time machine, a copy of every newspaper charting Lohan's sad decline over the last five years, and some hummus! STAT!

Justin Theroux
Is everyone else jealous of him? I know I am, but I didn't realise that it was a common trend. Damn him and his Dan Dare eyebrows!

AntiChrists are so "Meh!"
In theory I find the idea of an AntiChrist very compelling and creepy… but I've found that the idea/threat is a lot more powerful than what film-makers are actually able to come up with, as far as their supposed evilness is concerned. I mean, they never seem to do anything more horrific than…

" I'll clean my room… in exchange for your immortal soul."

To ensure that the secrets of its creation remained forever lost, the entire cast and crew of this movie were slaughtered by the producers, shortly after it wrapped. Only one lone cast member survived, thanks to an unfortunate case of diarrhea, caused by a past-its-prime shrimp cocktail. He vowed revenge, and spent…

Jon Stewart was right!
Soon we will all be crushed under the totalitarian weight of the Apple! Next they'll be cloning Justin Long, and sending him door-to-door to destroy our stereos! Run for the hills… and take your guitars with you!

Oh. My. God.

By law customers should be forced to call it a "virgin mimosa"… and then the staff should be required to giggle, because they totally just said "virgin".