Man, I hope the whole thing's just in 2x fast forward, and everyone is running around talking in chipmunk voices. "Me, I want a hula-hoop shaped bomb that will detonate in the center of the airport in 20 minutes!"

This isn't a caption, but it needs to be seen:

PIZZA HOUSE. Pizza… house. pizza house.

That's not a comic, that's just the name of the generic plotline they grabbed for the film out of the generic plotline generator! They almost went with "Epic Fantasy 9" but decided it was too similar to "Futuristic Action-Adventure 27"

"A masterpiece…Greenwood…commits to it wholeheartedly…Rain-man style…Date rape…Christoph Waltz just repeats the words 'dill pickle'"

"On paper, Stories We Tell sounds like…Polley…fucking…his daughter…from behind the glass of a sound studio…A whirlwind, decade-spanning romance"

"Tyler Perry Presents Peeples is not a…movie…It[']s…an underhanded critique of… sexual…ex-disco… lesbian…gatherings…[A] teddy bear… drinks magic mushroom tea, hallucinates in a sweat lodge, and gets lost in a disco fantasy… A nudist beach … emerge[s] from under the Perry banner."Ignaty Vishnevetsky, THE AV CLUB

Griimmmmm's beeeeeen kissed by the Muse on the gray!
The Nora Ze-het-ner, the stranger it feels, yeeeaaah.

Yeah, hey there, man! Great reviews, this and Love Is All You Need. Sorry you got stuck with the bottom of the barrel for your first couple outings, haha. It looks like you worked with AA Dowd at Time Out Chicago, so you're partners in crime, I assume… So, hey! I wonder if you read the comments on your reviews… *cough…

*slide whistle*

LET THE WAR OF THE ZAPRUDER LENS FLARE COMMENTS POSTED AT VIRTUALLY THE SAME TIME BEGIN!!!

Sir, we can't quite tell what direction the bullet is coming from — it's obscured by a giant lens flare!!!!

Yeah, the guy watching the $4,000 DVD set is commenting in the thread of the guy who doesn't even get the quote right. Come on.

I agree. It makes me wish there was more widespread comics journalism so I  could've heard of some of this stuff in the first place. I guess that's what the AV Club is for! Serves me right for complaining about lack of Marvel coverage below.

A "lengthy" clip of Godspeed You? Isn't that redundant?

So, any thoughts on the Eisner nominations?

Really, guys? Not a single Marvel comic covered? Nothing released in two weeks from the largest comics company that you thought might be noteworthy or worth a review? I'm worried that the merge of mainstream with arthouse in this column is leading to "here's some great arthouse stuff, and here's the shit DC pumped out…

THE AV CLUB

fixed ill nuts

An F would be better, then it would be an enjoyably bad trainwreck. I'm just confused how it managed not to get a D Minus.