Dammit, two is NOT a trend! Just like in math, you need THREE points to prove something is a trend! Otherwise it could be an arc, just like the arcs of these minor celebrities' flailing bodies as they jump off diving boards— callback!!

In related news, there's a new Horders spinoff called "Stash", a pagentry reality-competition show ala Next Top Model called "Sash", and a gory The Following knockoff about a knifes-only serial killer called "Slash"…

For Our Consideration: Why You Guys Should Have Watched Enlightened When You Had The Chance, God Dammit!

STONE PANIC!!!

Hey, at least now there's officially something intense about Animal Collective!

NetNewsWire is pretty great if you want something not in your browser; especially handy because you can have virtually infinite windows open at once so it's good for saving articles for later. I love it.

In Russia, water is wet like it has been in you!

He is a fan favorite, in that he spends all his time talking into fans and listening to that cool buzzy thing they do to your voice!

Hi, Jordan Cooper! I like your glowing review of "The Ape" with James Franco on Amazon! Also, posting the same slightly-changed rant in various places on the internet is a great way to get people looking at your other internet accounts.

Speed up, you move too slow!
It's not a graphic novel, you know!
Your decompression makes me depressed,
Reading your comics, Michael Bendis!

Jesus christ, though, it's like a gimmick without a, you know, gimmick! The gimmick is "how bland can I be?"

One of the most incredible parts of this film is how every single shot is a long, wide shot; a hard thing to do in animation with many characters and subtle movements, but also a huge part of why this movie is so incredible. What a stunning, touching film (and one that more people need to see)

YO!
BIGGIE THE NOTORIOUS GHOST
THE HARDEST GHOST YOU KNOW
THEM OTHER BITCHES MIGHT 
LOOK AT HIM WITH FRIGHT
BUT ALL HIS NIGGAS LOVE HIM SO.

Hey, Corn Pone. So. You're new around here. You comment a lot, like… A lot. A ton, especially for a newcomer. But the trouble is, your comments rarely make jokes and rarely say anything interesting. They're just white air. It's fine if most of your comments are white air and you have the occasional moment of…

GUYS! I'VE CAPTURED A TIME TRAVELER!

GUYS! I'VE CAPTURED A TIME TRAVELER!

Keep Viking that chicken!

LA Shrinks? Can they help solve my LA Complex?

I would think Breaking Bad would be getting most of the lack-of-face-related lawsuits

Due to this episode, the AV Club is now forming a sister website called "Op-Ed-Pieces-About-How-More-People-Should-Watch-Enlightened-eological-society"