Charlie Sheen is human debris.

Charlie Sheen is not lump of inanimate matter.

Nobody makes any real money but craft services.  The rest of it is pretend "gonna happen" money.

Yeah.

Kind of like Garfield without Garfield.

It's always a good idea to stretch beforehand.

Please stop calling Helen Hunt "Helen Cunt."

fapfapfapfapfap

I have an autographed Elmo puppet.

[sniff]
All I got was joke comments for my croque madame recipe.

Paula Deen: Cussin' and Cookin'

Famous southern white people in trouble.

Two Fridays ago I was eating escargot on a luxury cruise ship in Tahiti.
Last Friday I was at the Daytime Emmy Awards (two shows I wrote for got Emmys but neither for writing, unfortunately).
This Friday I'm just going to rest.

He was just picking up his cues.

Uh, he's in jail.

The Food Network
Cheese and Crackers

It was all a ruse perpetrated by Dan Ackroyd and Eddie Murphy!

It doesn't taste the same if you just use implied classism.

Did she write Mandingo?

When I used to work for HGTV, which also owns the Food Network, they wanted everything "cleaner than Disney."