The real ending is that both guys turn her down and have an explicit night of passion themselves. Because gay doesn't count on February 29, as per another Irish tradition.

Better or worse than a dog with bees in its mouth and when it barks it shoots bees at you?

Count me in!

The highest order? Shit, that was easy.

If you've never seen him in anything, how does it seem he has a lack of talent? Do you know him personally? And how could that fact possibly be startling?

Just two men celebrating one another's strength.

The synopsis does say "they have much more to fear than just frigid cold."

G-Glo

Seriously, though, what's the pooping situation in those things?

Looks like SOME kind of tard, amiright?

I wouldn't call the ending of the Orphanage Disney-esque, just atypically warmhearted for a "horror" movie ending, which are usually either unrelentingly bleak or have the most virginal teens escape or whatever. The woman goes insane with grief and kills herself, and either becomes an eternal nanny in the afterlife or…

Does the rest of it even still exist anywhere?

Just twee.

I only know him from 30 Rock, but I have to say I doubt the "butch enough to play straight" claim. Maybe by Broadway standards.

He is at least my favorite spokesgay.

There was a ridiculously flambuoyant closeted gay kid in my high school who always talked about how hot Alyssa Milano was.

Plus we're having this conversation on The Onion's sister website. The Onion is as American as humor gets, no? But I guess Ack Ack is right - we can't compete with a 100% satire-based existence.

I think almost anything that can be said about Mark Twain can be said about American humor generally. Is that good enough? I think satire has always been intrinsic.

"Americans have never, ever, ever completely warmed to satire"
I would love to hear a defense of this line.

"Explosions" /= "splosions"