Listen. World War I had the best literature, the Civil War had the best facial hair, and Vietnam had the best soundtrack. There are good reasons for all of these things. Just like there are good reasons there are so many WWII video games. Reason number 1: by FAR the best/easiest villains. Nazis, people. Genocidally…

It's so true that all middle aged people hate themselves and lack all dignity.

Before I read this column
and actually until about halfway through it, I thought "The Back-Up Plan Is Death" actually was the name of the movie. And I thought, wow, women in romantic comedies just keep getting more desperate.

Edgy.

Only the tweeest marry guys who use soap.

Overpowering stench of concentrated bear pheremones, mint.

Actually, the awesomest dogs are newfoundlands. Followed by labradors. Basically, anything named after some part of Atlantic Canada.

Improv Everywhere fails because…

Signs, I think, was stupider in premise even than the angry trees movie. Well, maybe not, but it says a lot that it takes that movie to top it. Yup, aliens with the technology to travel the stars come to Earth, and for no intelligible come down naked and unarmed to menace random farmers. Luckily for us water is poison…

rifftrax
Most of these movies have pretty good rifftrax, which is a pretty good way to watch them. I particularly The Happening and The Wicker Man.

According to Wikipedia, Amelie is not a spelling of Emily, it's a spelling of Amelia, which is unrelated. Emily comes from a Roman name, while Amelia comes from the old Germanic word for fertile and/or industrious.

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender and turn it on?

Worldliness!

It doesn't necessarily mean you aren't hearing it any more, I don't think. It just specifies that at a particular point in the past you had already heard it. "I had heard that grammar arguments are considered sexy, and I joined in." To say "I HAVE heard" leaves ambiguous whether you heard it was sexy before or after…

(The past and future states of "having heard" would be "I had heard" and "I will have heard," respectively.)

"I heard" is describing a past event. "I have heard" is describing a present state of being. If you don't like it, get out of our weird language.

I'm confused about the standard being applied. First Knight was fucking awful, and I don't remember Sean Connery's performance being an exception. That's in the plus column? How is that better than Last Crusade?

The Beast Rabin wins.

The Truman Show?

Viggo was apparently staying in character
at all times during the production of this. My girlfriend met him while he was recording some voice work on the side, and he was grimy and mumbling and had the kid with him for some reason. That might just be what he's like, though.