IQ-related pedantry
IQ is not a precise enough measure to say someone has "an IQ of 81." You could say an IQ of around 80, but you would have to specify according to what test, as the scales are slightly different. And 80 would generally be "dull normal" or at most "borderline impaired," not a "moron," which when it…

On the other hand, that's what I often claim when it turns out I was completely wrong about something. "By left I meant right. You see, sometimes we writer types use familiar words in novel ways."

My bar trivia team is also my Lost watching team. Trivia is Wednesdays, and Friday is traditionally Lost/fondue night. (We are rad.)

Bode -

Town? Oh, you mean touwnne.

"too many eggs in one basket"
That expression doesn't mean what you seem to think it means. It means failing to hedge against risk, which is actually close to the opposite of how you're using it, "too spread out and unfocused."

I flew in and out once. There was no direction of traffic, going through customs was completely optional, and upon check-in I was told I could take an earlier flight if I wanted it, but I'd have to run for it (across the tarmac).

I think it would be interesting to poll whether people would prefer working in a closet or a cubicle. I'm leaning closet.

Italian airports
The fact that that's totally true made that a great line. Inside joke for people who've flown into or out ot Italy!

Feces is not sterile, however. And I hate to break it to you, but a perpetually inflamed anus is NOT normal.

" I only wash my hands after I go to the bathroom if someone else is in the bathroom or right outside it and could hear the water - and even then I mostly just fake it. I credit this practice with giving me a near superhuman immune system that has kept me from having so much as a cold in the last 20+ years."

If you live in a dorm, care about stepping in (rinsed away) piss, and don't wear sandals in the shower, you are an idiot.

As a kid I debunked the piss dye indicator thing within a minute of hearing about it. I didn't pee in the the pool normally, but I couldn't pass up an opportunity for science.

My Kleenex asks me to get Onan.

That buzzword isn't annoying.
It just needs to find the right vehicle.

I'd like to point out that the first three replies independently (due to server lag) brought up Paris Hilton as a counterexample. Now THAT is celebrity.

"We've outsourced war, famine, genocide, plague, and pollution to developing nations"

1000 years ago, almost everybody had it as shitty as the people who have it the absolute shittiest now. Scientific progress and cultural output continue to increase at an exponential rate. "Nadir of Western Civilization?" Dumb.

I don't think you realize how strong a statement you're making. We live in a post-Paris Hilton world of "celebrity."

I just figured out what this review was reminding me of.
It's the scene in Freaks and Geeks where they go see The Jerk.