if they "like sex"
Yes, I "like sex" regardless of who I'm having sex with. That's why I make love to my dog, as it's far cheaper to buy dog food than pay for a high end prostitute. Economically speaking, the question isn't why I do this, but why isn't bestiality more popular?

So if I follow you, Chase is the Emperor.

Dark Passenger,

They've left NY before. Cleveland, and Liz's high school reunion. Cleveland was shown as a stress-free paradise filled with unattractive bumpkins, local cooking shows, and friendly policemen, the proud hometown of Chef Boyardee. That was kind of a two-way satire, no?

IN BROOKLYN
I reject your thesis, Rabin. 30 Rock is not equivalent to twee bullshit, and it is loved by more than douchey twentysomethings. 30 Rock is definitely a MANHATTAN show, like Seinfeld.

He's probably a smart, pretty cool kid now, but come on. Hanging out with Dave Eggers and Spike Jonze and being worshipped by AVClubbers, at age NINE? There's only one result that can have, and that's becoming the douchiest hipster douchebag that ever douched, by age 20. You heard it here first.

Well, now I have to…

Millions of masturbating rednecks can't be wrong.

Is it shaved?

Really, destroying a city that's not New York City makes it a highly innovative film.

Hey! Tom Clancy perfectly captures the complete lack of moral ambiguity in international relations.

What does merchandising the Simpsons have to do with integrity? Seems to me like Bart Simpson lunchboxes are just part of the joke.

Just a few more tie-ins
and I'll totally buy this.

Arsenio -

Oh… I was just….. arranging matchsticks……..

Yes, there are any number of ways he could have recovered better than he did. Like just quickly moving on without comment. Or even a "just kidding."

Another unbelievable plot point
The vast majority of all crows on Earth die all at once, during the flash, and it only occurs to one person that it might not be a coincidence.

"ortenzia" and "annenotshirley" = obvious sock puppets of Nathan Rabin.

So you can swim faster.

Well IIII prefer Lohan Diva, Dina Professional.