You have to wonder what sort of mental geography is in play here. It occurs to me that "worldwide from coast to coast" might make sense if you think the world is flat. It has to be surrounded by something, or else the oceans would fall off!

Who cares? Neither is The Real America. I only care about The Real America, which is something all those big-nosed, miserly New York and LA people don't understand.

References!

I was going to make fun of your tattoo, but I suspect seeing it in this context does the job better than I would.

Conan makes a Spencer from The Hills is a douchebag joke like every other show, and I still have no idea who he's talking about. I trust him, though.

I didn't know what the fuck teenagers were doing when I was one. I'll mock whatever I want, damnit.

Actually, the American microbrew rennaissance is in full swing, and our noble brewers have admirably emulated even the most glorious brews of Belgium, Germany, etc., in addition to pushing innovation in all sorts of directions. But I'm guessing that's not what you're talking about…

DISCO SUCKS!!!!

It doesn't come up much, but the AV Club is in an ancient, bitter, senseless feud with Arlo Guthrie.

It should also be stressed that he did not rape and murder a young girl in 1990.

He should have confessed to nailing Sarah Palin.

On Kids in the Hall they admitted to causing cancer.

That line was my favorite, too. That they cut out before you see any reaction to it was also hilarious, and a technique I find I really like. Reminded me of "I murdered my wife!" on 30 Rock.

Also, I have strong opinions on religion!

My freshman room was an unholy stew of putrescence, which I purposely allowed to happen specifically because I hated my roommate's girlfriend and wanted them to spend as little time there as possible. Just me and the mice, chillin' in a de facto single.

Send 'Em All Back to Africa, and Merry Christmas

Hey! My mom DID go to college, asshole!

Wait wait wait wait. What's sex?

The reason Virginia is used is because a lot of us northerners are not entirely sure places like Tennessee or Alabama actually exist, or if they're more like satire and allegory, like Dante's description of Hell.

"Kodi Smit-McPhee"
Naming a kid "Kodi," giving him a hyphenated last name, and becoming stage parents? I smell a high-strung yuppy stereotype!