So Amelie,
I've noticed that the material for a good number of your columns can be found entirely on subway posters. Do you write them on the way to work? If so, what do you do AT work?

Ah, yes, the CSPDW. Underused, these days.

CBS procedurals
But whose semen was in the chest cavity? Can't anyone remember?

Or Holmes accidentally causes the death of Mrs. Watson, then starts hallucinating her.

They could have had House in the loony bin for half the season, or all of it. Why not? Maybe he could somehow arrange for Wilson to get committed too. Hilarity would surely ensue.

Some of the best foods in the world involve peanuts and curry.

Peanut butter is considered food specifically for children?
So, um, am I the only one who didn't know that?

The Sudanese are such fucking downers.

You should have said something like, "You know how to stop him, food poisoning, but you don't have the discipline. He'll take Manhattan, then he'll take Berlin."

Wow, this would be a douchey even if it were actually ancient Roman times.

Blair Witch: Indoors?!?!?
Should've gone with the name recognition.

anti-abstinence ents
THE ENTS ARE GOING TO WHORE

Marketing schemes
I heard it's customary to buy your betrothed 2 months' salary worth of jeans when you get engaged. Otherwise you're cheeeeeeeaaaaaap.

Or, like, Jesus.

And spending 15 years writing something doesn't mean it isn't godawful. (Sorry, aspiring AV Club novelists/screenwriters.)

Dr. Acula, "any time we want" might be too much to ask. However, I would totally be satisfied if superhero garb were to be considered "business casual."

You guys all assume one of the sides will be America, but that's not explicit in the game itself, is it? Here's hoping for a Russo-Japanese War movie.

That's like the most racist confusion ever, Legface.

The scene on the poster takes place in the CSI labs.

Probably more like Ten Shillings, somehow.