The Audacity of Hoping Not to Be Shot in the Head Again

So, to summarize:

Maybe they were just homeless, and "camp out" for every movie.

Throw in a rapping baby and a rapping granny, and you can have my $12, Mr. Bay.

Loud, smug, and self-righteous are what make a TV pundit. If you want smart, informed, or capable of listening, go watch something faggy, like PBS.

It's true that there is always money to be made in telling people they're right, no matter what their views. However, it is not true that there's no difference between groups. Conservatives and liberals, on average, are actually psychologically significantly different. There's been Science about it and everything.

That kid will be President Palin's chief of staff.

Jason is engaged in a Sisyphean struggle against exposed breasts.

Does the name will.i.am for a grown up person really need any modification in order to be made fun of?

I still maintain that in order to be a sellout, there needs to be something that you're sellling out. Your ideals, an old friend, the sort of art you'd really like to be making, etc. If you never had any problem with your music being used in a Target commercial to begin with, it's not selling out, it's just selling.…

Why didn't you just not go to the bad ones?

I have an infant cousin who can be entertained literally for hours by something like peek-a-boo, a shiny piece of paper, or a succession of fart noises. However, I find that these things don't entertain me for nearly as long. Am I a pretentious hipster douchebag who's totally gay and probably speaks French?

SPOILER ALERT

Yeah, what? Dirty Work was awesome. Or at least it was when I was 13 when it came out, and I refuse to believe I've died inside enough to not think so still, should I ever find myself watching it again.

It's like The Decider of movies!

Bernie Mac had legendary standup and a really solid sitcom. But yeah, his film career was pretty grim.

A chair is a common piece of furniture designed to support one person off the ground in a sitting position, while Kylie Minogue is a human being primarily known for a successful career in pop music.

Post gen-X is gen-Y. Yes, it's unfortunate, but who who doesn't know that?

The hospital called. Your whole family was killed in a car accident.

The Romans usually just gave years by whoever was in charge (first kings, the consuls, then emperors), but they also counted from the traditional date of the founding of Rome in 753 BC.