You could just sidestep the whole problem by using CE and BCE for "common era" and "before common era," which is accurate and unambiguous but which will get you labelled as the antichrist by Bill O'Reilly and the good folks at Conservapedia.

"So, you're a cook. Can you farm?"

As a blanket statement it's obviously false, but I can see where he's coming from. My female friends mostly have good taste in comedy, but it definitely seems to mean more to my male friends. Maybe it's a matter of "taking comedy seriously?" I have a hard time imagining, say, something like the Judd Apatow group as…

BUSTIN' MAKES ME FEEL GOOD

This time, they aren't busting ghosts, they're busting wise interdimensional beings whose treasure is knowledge.

Shit! We were supposed to be keeping records?

Bill Murray was "dramatically self-revealing" in Garfield? Huh. Maybe I'll check that out.

Remember when they had Seinfeld?

"Adequate" depends on the context. Would be a fantastic performance at a high school play. Would be pretty crappy for a professional opera singer. Or, for that matter, for a television program implying it's the best the entire United Kingdom has to offer. But mostly it's just the implication that she has "overcome"…

OK, ricinbeans. You have much lust for this woman and would be even if the trashy media weren't telling you to be. Also, you don't necessarily subcribe to Maxim. Me, I'm indifferent to her, can't imagine that glasses frizzy hair would improve the situation, and I don't even know what Animal Collective sounds like.…

One thing The Real America understands that transplanted New York/Los Angeles folks don't is proper, non-high-and-mighty fanny pack usage.

The only one? Has Megan Fox "enchanted" anyone without a Maxim subscription?

Suck it, water into wine!

You're asking if bacon is kosher?

Ashlee Simpson isn't a wizard, though (is her character?). After the first one, you'd just be doing all that stuff to an increasingly mangled corpse. I can't see the CW doing that. Maybe Adult Swim.

Yeah, seriously, NICE TRY, AV CLUB. We're not reading The Decider until you literally pay us to do so.

Obviously, the AV Club staff haven't spent enough time in night court.

I'll allow it.
You better be going somewhere with this.
Get to the point!
Overruled/sustained. (randomly)

True about added babies, but it could be worse. Babies just pretty much lie there needing constant attention. They're distracting props, basically. Precocious children, however, are uniquely equipped to actively destroy comedy and drama alike.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!