That time when he is looking at his bank account.

Since i quit working at the library, I'mm just now getting to all the books I received as gifts. I'm slugging my way through "The Poisonwood Bible" and "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies." I haven't planned yet what I'm gong to read next.

Apparently not? I said I would take unpaid days, but she still called them vacation days.

According to IMDB trivia, Billy is the heir to the Champion spark plug fortune. He's also second cousin to Bruce Campbell. 
All I get from husband is a shared mortgage and having to attend mass twice a year with his not-famous family.

Try not to barf in his face.

Didn't Project Runway have a skydiving episode? Maybe these 2 shows should battle in the air.

Was he? I seem to have explosive amnesia.

He “will forever sing [their] anthems to my children’s children," but only then and not a moment sooner!

I was just reminded that Leaping Lanny Poffo and Macho Man are (were) brothers.

I'm too busy trying to figure out what I'm going to do about a wedding I'm supposed to be in, and my company won't let me have the time off even though I'll be eligible a week later.
I'm just going to keep my reservations and call in sick I guess. Thurs-Monday. Thanks job.

As a lover of QTips because my runny ear wax makes my ears itch insanely, I have to seriously question her technique.

*Russell Crow looks around nervously.

Just ask Project Runway

*Runs so far away from @avclub-1b9a80606d74d3da6db2f1274557e644:disqus , crying*

This was my favorite English teacher's favorite movie, so I believe it to have some merit.
This was also the teacher who would leave the classroom and come back saying he was his evil twin brother.

It was on a lot, I remember. That's how I also came to watch "La Bamba" so much. We had one of those huge satellite dishes (this was still the late 80s, I think), so sometimes it was just too much a pain in the ass to change the channel. Plus, I liked when the mother got hung on her own wedding dress.

So you went from Hatchet to FITA?

This is the second time this week I've heard about a fish being used to get a chick off. WTF?

I doubt they ever had sex ed, so good luck with that.

Too late.