The greatest trick Archer Daniels Midland ever pulled was to convince the world it didn't exist.

DMD 2: Tha Piggly Wiggly

Bruce Willis was red the whole time.

Imma let you finish, but Francois Payard had one of the best croissants of all time.

::points at @avclub-33235e3d066bad95b6eea457826f7507:disqus and emits piercing pod-person scream::

You're The One That I Want (To Kill)

But soft!  What light through yonder window breaks?  It is the deer piss.

Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light - total protonic reversal.

After being bitten by a radioactive spider, Peter Parker gains the ability to spell simple words in English.

Q: "My girlfriend stumbled across [my Garfield porn] and is pretty freaked out.  How can I show her that I'm just a normal guy with a weird outlet for my psychological problems and not some kind of sicko?"

How do I shot web?

I guess they just wanted it more.

Hi ho silver, away.

There wasn't enough beer in the world to make me enjoy that movie, and I tried.

You know, the guy from Lincoln who wasn't Daniel Day Lewis or Tommy Lee Jones.

They finally complete negotiations on the Trans Pacific Partnership, increasing economic integration throughout the region and revitalizing long term growth.

And I, for one, welcome our new big ass robot overlords.

@avclub-6ef36c8de89f58253dbbd5f338837bf1:disqus There exists a theater where both "Before Midnight" and "White House Down" are playing?  My mind is blown.  Where I come from, art house fare and popcorn movies never show together.

He's just resting.  Yeah.  You stunned 'im, just as he was wakin up.

Asteroid is Black President's Fault