Jenna Elfman wants to know.
What are your crimes?

It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

Your Mom.

I never thought I'd see the day when people were calling Kirstie Alley and Shelly Long fuckable.

Everything is going to be O.K.
Spencer Pratt will save us from impending economic doom from China.

Your mom.

Maybe we can get William Petersen to give him a fishing rod.

Makes lots of mistakes and bombs the wrong targets.

Bitches leave.

Dave78…get off the board and go teabag something.

I don't like Sean Penn either, and I also don't like Dave78.

I actually heard it on his program…I went there briefly to see if he would have a nervous breakdown about his Massa show the previous evening.

Glenn Beck is a fucking asshole.
They advertise this shit on Glenn Beck's radio show.

Wonder Boys was an excellent movie, and yes…it was Michael Douglas' last good movie.

Both Sheens are in this one, too.

I hope…
…that I have some really good hallucinogens around when this one comes out.

Pffft.
It's probably just another variation on Vacation.

If William Petersen gives you a fishing pole…shoot him in the face.

or a tire iron.

I still love Braveheart…but I'm a sucker for movies where people hack each other to death with swords and axes.