What should I wear to see the Perseid meteor shower?

Is there any sunshine there?

That's the way to do it.

Bunch of babies can't even look directly at the sun without getting hurt. Boo-hoo!

Fuck that chubby bitch.

English is a flexible language.

Hooray for Hoolywood!

It was a nice haircut when Annie Lennox had it.

Hopefully they sent you some swag.

Litigating in Cleveland

Romance is just sexual harassment by somebody cute.

The baby winked at me.

That was last year's final score, too!

Coffee dates are the best first dates, and hopefully you sit at an outdoor table so I can see you before I show up and can bail if you're ugly or not dressed nicely.

I don't believe it actually happened. I think this is fake news, but I'm too lazy to confirm it, so I'll just accept it as such.

Rebooty, more like!

"Let's all take a shower!"

Can't we just get a quick graphic that explains it all, rather than having to watch a dumb video?

I like the part in Vanilla Sky where Cameron Diaz drives the car off the bridge to hurt Tom Cruise. I've often felt like doing that, but I also like to let other people drive, so I don't get the chance that often.

Take it easy. Take it sleazy.