Like there's a little Swayze in his DNA.

"Twi-Hards"  What self-respecting writer could use that word ever?

What's the problem with Anthony Michael Hall?  

Hola Amigos: A Tale of Weed, MGD, and a Barely Working Ford Festiva. 

Does everyone have brown gloves?

Fightin' the West with a bottle of votka in their hand.

He is Mike.  He's afraid "them guys" would want to borrow money.

They could use that for science class!

It's alright, it's okay.  There's something to live for.  Jesus told me so!!

Coven sounds like oven, man.

I used to watch this movie so much.  When I had a roommate in the early 2000's, we always referred to getting drunk as "calling Morocco". 
Either I had a bottle of vodka or he had a bottle of vodka, and we used to drink vodka together all the time.

The nostrils are off-putting, but mainly I don't like stuff where there's an Apple product prominently displayed, like they think their audience will relate to it or something.  Jimmy Fallon better not bring that fucking thing to the Tonight Show.  I mean, I know it's a new Pepsi generation and everything, but there's…

Is the A.V. Club just doing Onion stories now?  It's getting harder to tell when there's more and more bullshit surrounding these barely newsworthy posts.

Well, some stupid secret agent cartoon would first have to reference Billy Budd for anyone to give a shit or know what you're talking about.  I thought the Bartleby thing was cool until I found out about the catalyst.  But at least your gimmick posting would have the strange longevity that the Bartleby stuff has been…

Hot off the presses at The Onion: 
'Next Episode Of 'Girls' To Feature Lena Dunham Shitting Herself During Gyno Exam While Eating A Burrito'
http://www.theonion.com/art…

'Ha Ha Funny' is also a terrible movie, which is not funny in either way.

Does anyone else find that fucking sad?

So you'd like us to acknowledge that we've read 'Bartleby the Scrivener: A Story of Wall Street' every time this gimmick poster posts?

Bartleby was standard issue at my high school.

Judge Reinhold doesn't get much respect around here.