I thought Hollywood's definition of heroism was making speeches stating moderate liberal truisms in a room full of moderate liberals?

It was dry, pun-filled, and involved cows.

I still can't believe Tom Hanks managed to escape that desert island.

Yeah, much as I don't like Casey Affleck, you have to reeeeaaaaalllllllyyy be into false equivalencies to see the two in exactly the same light.

Nothing, because there is nothing Hollywood prefers to a story of redemption.

Don't you see her making the face that you make when you're looking down and reading a piece of paper? I think that pretty much seals it.

Glad to see Holofcener really stepping out of her comfort zone here…

WHERE IS OSCAR FOR READY TO RUMBLE?????

Between this and her, "Hey blacks and gays, what about the white women?" speech, I'm beginning to think this Patricia Arquette lady might be a self-righteous asshole.

Jesus Christ, stop eating the seeds.

Short's in Michigan used to make a corn-based pilsner that was like if Bud Heavy was actually good. They replaced it with some shit light lager and I'm still pissed about it, and this is the first chance I've had to shout my displeasure into the void of the internet.

You gotta surreptitiously make the registry somehow.

It's so weird that multiple people could come up with the same obvious joke independently.

This is just like when they stole that Best Actor win from Sinbad for Shazam.

They gave three white guys an Oscar for writing a jazz song!

Oh, no, we don't do that, that's sinful.

I always actually wanted to watch that Sports Yelling show on 30 Rock.

I fuck my wife through a hole in the bed sheet while fully clothed, and everyone else is a sinner.

Won't some please think of the (questions I'll have to answer that personally make me uncomfortable when they're inevitably asked by my) children?!?!?!?!?!

To be fair, medical use has always been a Trojan horse to making it more acceptable for legalization. The medical utility of marijuana ranges from non-existent to mild effect, depending on what it's being used for.