I finally got around to some speculative fiction / fancy-pantsy sci-fi stuff this year.

It's fantastic that we live in a country where the motherfucking president can maintain a business relationship with one of the major media corporations in the country, and that's apparently a-o-fucking-kay.

Man, his performance in that Frasier clip is genuinely good.

You know what they say about old beer. You don't throw it out, you recycle it.

Daddy, where's the balloon? Daddy, why does she say hush? Daddy, why is that the moon? Daddy, is that nobody?

Antonin Scalia and Phyllis Schlafly.

Upcoming Cloverfield films:

Does Keri Russell count?

Wait, so the writers of Green Room thought knives can cut through wrist bones and that a superficial cut of a fat guy's belly would kill him?

It definitely did, usually with some "both sides are bad" narrative that had to stretch to make the obviously less bad side equally bad.

I don't understand why in the last ten years people have come to treat cancellation of their favorite TV show as if it's some kind of civil rights violation.

I think you mean kfc yes!

For some reason, my initial reaction to the header image was, "Wait, Steve Buschemi was in The Fifth Element?" Then I realized it wasn't Blond Bruce Willis next to him.

-Bob’s Burgers (thoughts?)

The 2009 version of me is super excited about this news.

I'll have you know I only use those squiggly light bulbs and I once spent a summer composting before deciding it was gross and stupid, so I'm totally doing my part.

It must be a weird way to live, to be so delusional that you declare yourself the victor because someone in any way responded to your argument….

Wait, how many hands does each person have in this scenario?

Oh, I assumed the Weather Channel getting pissed is where tsunamis come from.

Well, last year we did that thing where we pretended his version of 1989 was better than the original, so I don't know what we're doing this year.