Have you heard? McDonalds egg will be cage free by 2025! Cage free!

Obligatory:

His face in the picture nicely sums up my reaction to the headline.

I was so excited for Why. Then I watched the first episode…

Oh my god, I LOVED Horizons. As a nerdy kid, I made my parents take me on that countless times in our couple trips to Disney World. I'm sure they hated it.

Laura Veirs actually has become my workout music, in this sense that Tumble Bee is often playing when I'm trying to keep up with my asshole 3 year old as he bounces around the house.

Is it 1998? I didn't realize ripping on Dave Matthews Band still made you cool.

I'm just going to assume that at this point, some asshole hipster company is selling a USB powered bluetooth turntable.

Your fourth and fifth paragraphs make the point I've been waiting for someone more articulate than me to make.

I agree. But that's not what happened here.

I used to read it, and I'm celebrating.

Before These Crowded Streets is legitimately one of the better albums of the late 90s AND I WILL FIGHT ANYONE WHO DISAGREES.

However far away, jet fuel can't melt steel beams
However long I stay, jet fuel can't melt steel beams
Whatever words I say, jet fuel can't melt steel beams
Jet fuel can't melt steel beams

And because the liberal internet can't help but eat itself, people are criticizing Amy Schumer for… not taking the blame for something she didn't do, I guess?

I'M GONNA SHOOT SOME OF YOU WHITE MOTHERFUCKERS

"Watching journalists botch criminal justice reporting makes me wonder why anyone ever believes anything a journalist says."

You guessed it… Frank Stallone.

If I had to guess, it's that the Gawker/Jezebel will run with ANYTHING salacious about a celebrity (or really, any rich person, famous or not). A lot of the stuff they post never really makes it outside the Kinja sphere. It's only the stuff that either has legs or other media outlets pick up that make it here.

It's more of a Homeboys in Outer Space.

It was hard to muster the enthusiasm, but somehow someway, Alex muddled through.