For they will inherit the curd.

To be fair, this dreck only really appeals to a small subset of Christians. I know a number of genuinely religious Christians who roll their eyes at these kinds of movies and the people who enjoy them…

Look, I'm not saying they're not seeing call boys on the side.

I believe you mean it's as if Fox News and Pat Robertson saved themselves and ONLY AFTER entering into the sacrament of matrimony, consummated their marriage and had a child, then a second child, and let's be honest, they're going to have like 12 more children.

It's about two naked eight year olds who are married?

Peter Buck looks straight-up suicidal in that video.

Agreed. The man cannot sing. At all.

That's the typical system, but R.E.M. Bucked the trend and didn't force him to pay the Millions he'd usually owe them.

I'll be honest, I'm a little worried about Michael Stipe, you guys.

And also Box.

Math nerds - they're both a rhombus and a rectangle, am I right???

Yep, lying and saying you're joking is the Donald Trump, whereas lying with earnest passion is the Ted Cruz.

Everybody here's been joking about finding Allison Brie and Lizzy Caplan attractive all this time.

That's a whole nother issue.

Spelling in this situation is a mute point.

They're actually fucking hilarious. It's basically having a tiny stoned person at all times. I'm not saying I never grow weary, but they're really more stupid and funny than anything.

To be fair, Trader Jose's Undocumented Migrant Sucking At The Teet of Hard-Working Real Americans Salsa Verde was a little over the top.

Ah yes, the joke no one gets or finds funny that you then have to explain. I'm pretty good at those myself.

My not-quite-3 year old son thinks lying and then saying "I told a joke!" is the height of humor.

The one and only April Fools Day prank I've ever genuinely enjoyed was when someone put a "Coming Soon - In-N-Out Burger" sign up in an empty storefront in NYC a few years ago.