You should send them back with a letter that says, "Not all men have hair!"

Just kidding. ElDan's not religious.

"Thank God!" -ElDan

I told her what time it was.

Spider-Man 3 and The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull are two of my all-time favorite moviegoing experiences. I went to midnight premieres of both with friends who loved the series and the meltdowns were palpable. The jazz club sequence in S-M 3 and the vine-swinging scene of Kingdom are right up there with all the…

I shampoo and condition my beard every single day so that I'm just the asshole with a stupid beard, not the asshole with a stinky stupid beard.

I strongly recommend pulling a Larry David the next you're in a situation which calls for it. I was waiting in line at a pizza place earlier tonight and after the person in front of paid and got their order some old man very brazenly pushed past everyone in line (me and another four people) and went to get his food,…

You might be right, but I'd have to lurk outside of their windows peeping in to know for sure.

*Justin Lin. James Wan would be good, too. Furious 7 is a masterpiece.

Speaking of designs, did you know that Bryan Fuller's partner is a decorator? How amazing do you think their place looks?

Samesies, but I'm gonna need to see the new movie this summer. Idris. The guy who directed Fast Five and Fast & Furious 6. More Quinto. I'm excited.

Prove it.

You're right. The Cross Insurance Arena is the one in Portland, the Cross Insurance Center is the one in Bangor. They went nuts with creativity when naming those places.

Bryan Fuller is going to write the Newswire about it himself just as soon as he has a free second.

"They have names like 'D-Money' and 'Trombone Shorty.'"

I'll be Holland Oates and you'll be Peter Gabriel.

Hey, I was also at that Phish show!

Ooh, I just learned Phish is playing here this July, too.

I assure you, she does not.

Definitely, but I'm fucking psyched for this. Pretty much all we get otherwise are country acts.