I at least hope you took care of her needs before taking care of your own. That would have been the polite thing.

No matter how many of these new shows I watch, they're not as good as the old ones.

I hope that doesn't mean they plan on stepping on the product.

Everything. I love everything about it. The characters, the actors who played them, the music, the jokes, the pace of the movie, the oner that opens the movie, the scene of Dirk pulling his dick out the closes it, Jack's backyard pool area, Philip Seymour Hoffman's breakdown in his car which he only bought to impress…

GODDAMN.

That's also an awesome movie that I only also saw for the first time this year.

I cannot believe that's what Travolta ended up looking like. I mean, I can. Because that side of him was the first side I was ever exposed to. It was only until a few weeks ago that I watched Saturday Night Fever for the first time that I totally had my mind blown about what a sex icon he was capable of being. He's…

Hey, man. Fellow bald brother here. Shaving is totally legitimate, in my opinion. You're not hiding beneath a hat and I respect the hell out of you for that.

Those "crimes" only made me like both of those guys more. McConaughey had a similar thing where he got in trouble for smoking bongs and playing bongos and dancing around his mansion naked with some of his buddies. It's like, on what world would that not make me like him more?!

I originally wanted my username to be just "Boner," but that was already taken, so I went with "BonerTime." And I went looking for a picture of the guy who played Boner on Growing Pains and found the picture in my avatar, not knowing or realizing that he had already committed suicide by that point, although countless…

LD's out there fighting for us. My second all-time favorite Curb interaction (behind Rosie conceding the point that LD dates disabled people in their battle of niceness, which is maybe my all-time favorite TV moment period) is when Larry puts the shaved-head police officer in his place.

As a bald man, let me rejoice, Larry David is our greatest bald man.

Plugs? Plugs?! You mention plugs to me?! Huh? You sit at this table and mention plugs?! Are you serious?!

My sandwich is turkey, cole slaw, Russian dressing. It's a classic. People come in and they order a "Ted Danson."

I bet your nieces and nephews are totally bandwagon Selma-heads.

I fucking love Beasts Of No Nation. It's so strange to see Idris Elba in a movie that's actually good outside of just the parts where Idris Elba is on camera. That said, his introduction in that movie is usage of him I've been waiting so long for. He's presented as such a sex icon in that moment. He's wearing short…

Most scientists only considered a Barbie's body prior to assembly, but you were the one who came along and said, what if we take everything apart once it's already been put together? Yes, yes.

"Did you read Middlesex and think, That was great, but why did they stop with the incest half way through and focus on someone else? Well, we have the book for you!"

I don't give a shit about boxing or Rocky Balboa, but goddamn, Michael B. in those trailers and posters. Dude's body is out of control for Creed. I'm giving serious thought to seeing it in a theater.

Did you love Boogie Nights? Please tell me you loved Boogie Nights. I'd like to talk about Boogie Nights with you, basically, is what I'm saying.