"Thankfully, my sisters are older than me, so they had become disinterested in their toys by the time I got to them."

And speaking of bread and butter, don't eat any of them!

Why doesn't Spider-Man dance on tables in jazz clubs anymore?

Those things were a mainstay of shitty Maine theaters. It was like two metal bars close together on an arcade game-looking device. And you'd squeeze them together as hard as you can and you'd get a ranking from one to ten or whatever it was, but the rankings went from "Wet Noodle" to "Kung-Fu Grip" or "Gorilla Grip"…

They had a bunch of leftover Richard Kind dolls and figured, ehh, hair's close enough.

She actually does bring it up sometimes and I tend to just play it off like, "Oh, ha ha, yeah [takes big gulp of alcohol and stares off into distance]."

It's so hilarious to me now that those grip machines in movie theaters had "wet noodle" as their weakest ranking. I didn't get the joke when I was a kid. I get it all too well now.

I've definitely told this story on here before, but what the fuck, I'm a little tipsy, I'll tell it again. My younger sister used to have the most insane Barbie collection. Like, every doll and house and accessory. One day, as maybe a six- or seven-year-old, I decided I would take a Sharpie and sign my name onto every…

That Quentin Tarantino Barbie didn't melt in the factory. Its face is supposed to look like that!

Good Will Hunting is as close to movie medicine for me as anything else I've seen. If I'm having a bad day, I can throw that movie on and it'll totally turn me around. I really, deeply, genuinely love it. But I'm from Maine. I love whenever New England figures into movies.

And where do you stand on Inherent Vice. Boogie Nights will forever by the PTA movie I most frequently rewatch, but Inherent Vice might be approaching #2 status. I just find it completely enjoyable now. Any problems I had with it have melted away and I'm just so glad it exists.

That episode incorporates one of my favorite hypothetical situations, which is someone celebrating one of the most important occasions of their life on the day of a major tragedy. It's not hard to see that day playing a significant role in Margaret's commune lifestyle later in the series.

The pilot of Carnivale elicited the same response from me and my friends that the first time we saw Avatar did, which was: LOL, is this real life?

I have. And you'd be surprised how hard those autopsy photos were to come by. Bunch of stuck-up snobs, as far as I'm concerned, those undertakers are.

That makes me really happy. I've always wanted things to work out for those guys and I especially want to believe that they really wrote the screenplay and that it's accurate and good. In fact, anytime I'm in Boston, I go to the Boston Common and attempt to recreate the scene where Williams is verbally beating down…

Also, am I crazy or is Lars kind of pretty hot in the '80s and '90s? Like, anytime he's on screen in one of his films, he always looks pretty good. He reminds me of a more talented version of someone I went to school with.

You're right, and The Kingdom is the first thing of his I've seen that almost explicitly proves that. Perhaps you've seen it, but for those who haven't, each episode ends on an insane supernatural cliffhanger and then von Trier approaches the screen in a tuxedo and talks over the credits, basically saying things like,…

We're in agreement in there, too. Robin Williams is amazing in Good Will Hunting.

Yeah, Gandolfini takes Tony to some really dark places in that final season. No episode more perfectly distills The Sopranos for me than "Soprano Home Movies." He's a little buzzed and having a good time one moment, he's pushing Janice's buttons the next. He's fighting Bobby one moment, he's telling him to go kill…

That's a lotta show. Some quick takes: