Fail. I curse you with PabloAIDS, Bendsitis, and OK Compcancer.

I'm not gay, but my candied pecans are.

My Grandpa used to to be a semen runner back in the 20's. He'd bring loads of it over the border from Canada. of course back then you needed a perscription for it, or you could go to the spunkeasy, or even worse you'd have to cook with that rotgut bathtub jizz that caused blindness.

Who's snarking the snarkers?

"I'll take Jap Anus Realtions for $100"
"That is Japan US Relations, Mr Connery"

I've got boneitis for Avril.

Sean Penn but with Billy West's voice would be even better

Does the $1/ bottle include the mouse, or is that extra?

The last ape on a train I saw was at the end of "Trading Places". And it was a rape ape. Not to be confused with the cartoon icon Grape Ape. And to complete my hattrick of random pop mentions: Peter Scolari.

Remember when Conan would take two relatively attractive celebrities, then mix up their facial features for a bit he called "If They Mated?"

Anyone notice the subtle difference between 'last' movie and 'final' movie? Josh, your deathpool is showing

It's called a "Footwear Maintenance Container" now

Not hatin', just informatin'!

British television
Let's not forget that "All In The Family," like "Sanford & Son," were based on British shows. Lear did something special with AITF but he developed as much as he created. Limey credit where lobsterback credit is due.

BAAAAAM! Peanut butter and JAAAAM!

Twitter? I hardly know her!
Twitter did the unthinkable; created a service that is more innane, self-important, and masturbatory than blogging. No one really gives a shit that you "are looking for organic pears at Trader Joe's" or "listening to the new Neko Case" or whatever. It's blogging meets ADHT.

Two wrongs don't make a right…
…but three rights make a left.

What will I do now?
No Sears catalogs, no newspapers. Looks like I will finally have to give in to the international toilet paper cartels… and line my birdcage with Bear Sterns stock notes. Amiright, people?

My blood would likely run cold if I found out that my angel is a centerfold. My angel is a centerfold.

He is great on Letterman and other late night talk shows, too. I think what we have here is general hipster aversion to anything that looks or sounds hispter.