Do 90 minutes of Man-on-the-Street interviews where people say "Road House" with a variety of dramatic inflections.

We didn't know about VC flip cards, authentic homebrew shit, plays you'd never see in your namby pamby tournaments!

This reads like a grizzled old veteran recalling his war days.

Bat Soup

I drank five bottles of KC J'asterpiece, my unlicensed knockoff brand of Steak Sauce.

Everything was going fine, but as I queued Grown-Ups 2, I started hearing a distant, constant weeping noise, and my nose began to bleed.

EXTERIOR, THE CASTLE HOGWARTS, FLOATING THROUGH THE ETHEREAL MISTS OF UNKNOWN NEBULAE, WHORLS OF STARLIGHT SPECKLE THE INKY BLACK. THE FRAGILE, TRANSPARENT BUBBLE OF TIME IS ALL THAT SEPARATES THE CASTLE'S INHABITANTS FROM TERRIBLE, VIOLENT, EXPLOSIVE DECOMPRESSION.

Man, wouldn't it be great if tomorrow, someone in Japan slapped their forehead and was all, "Oh crap, guys, I literally just figured out what they meant by 'irony'!"

Oh shit, you know what I just realized? For any recent popular work of fiction, the amount of slashfic probably outweighs the original.

You're playing a dangerous game, Sacrelicious.

Calvin and Hobbes is a great tool for tricking kids into reading. I think most kids can sympathize with Calvin's disappointment that the world isn't more like a fantasy, and get the vicarious thrill of watching him refuse to abandon that fantasy anyway.

When I was about nine or ten, after I'd read all the books but before I understood the extent of Watterson's refusal to compromise on licensing, I bought a t-shirt from a Carnie vendor that was Calvin pissing on a confused-looking dog.

I think Adult Swim still dominates alt-comedy as a network. IFC has a couple good entries, but Adult Swim walks the walk.

The Blirth of a Nablack.

I've actually been holding off on it until I've read more Stephen King in general. You meant THAT Crimson King.

A pair o' pathetic peripatetics.

While I respect your outside-the-box approach to crazy nerd theories, my skepticism is thoroughly aroused.

As Batman, I too am outraged!

if you have a few hours, you could listen to my Unified Fiction Theory that basically attributes everything bad in every universe except our own to Aku from Samurai Jack.

It's an ass that plays in Peoria, to be sure.