That sounds like a challenge. A. Griffiths knows this is the internet, right?

There are some fundamental flaws there, though, chief among them being that Johnson didn't get shot. Plus, Kennedy didn't get the emotional lead-in of being the successor to a brutally murdered charismatic leader. It's rather silly to compare them point by point.

That's a fair statement, and if we're being honest, I don't think most rightside Christians walk around sweating over hell. Their love for god is, as much as anything else, sincere, and their decision is more complex than two doors.

Man, the alternative to liking Jesus is Hell. In the lives of Christian Conservatives, liking Jesus is voluntary the same way taxes are voluntary: you can choose not to pay them, sure, but then you'll be put in prison. But hell, with taxes you can at least move to another country and not go to American Taxdodge…

Okay, so I can acknowledge that guns don't cause violence in and of themselves. They're tools, sure, sure, listen: can we then stipulate that birth control doesn't cause promiscuity and maybe reach some sort of bargain where anyone can buy condoms or the pill as long as they have a revolver?

Yeah, you can choose to dislike him, as long as you haven't been conditioned by years of familial and societal pressure into believing that Disliking Jesus Is A Short Road To Hell.

Eh, not as such. But then, I don't ever anticipate meeting either of them, so it's moot except as a question for me.

A non-white longhair Jew in sandals, likes artisan-quality woodworking, deliberately slums around with the poor despite having the biggest dad in town? He sounds a lot like the insufferable hipsters I befriended.

I kind of wish my life was suspiciously like an entry in the Air Bud saga. It seems like things are going pretty well in that universe.

If you got Terry Gilliam to direct, I'd totally watch Long Dark Tea-Time of the Dead.

It's a story that needs to be told! Stretch Armstrong killed my father, and I won't be silenced by some shill working for Big Gelled Corn Syrup!

Maybe, and I'm just spitballin' here, she isn't that bad off-camera and you're only exposure to her is when her antics make the news?

That's one of the big contrasts I would draw between Hey Arnold! and Rocko's Modern Life or Ren and Stimpy. Rocko and R&S get a lot of credit for sneaking things by the censors, for masturbation jokes or whatever, and sure, it's amusing to see those things, but it's hardly ever rewarding, especially on a narrative…

It's kind of reassuring, isn't it? I have issues with my sex life at 24, stuff I'm not sure I'll be able to resolve, types of people I don't know I'll ever find, a life I'm not sure I'll ever be able to live.

You could always try collecting dolls and see if your luck improves.

There's a page or two of storyboard floating around from the Rugrats animation folk, let me see…

What is this, the I-Vomit-Flaccid-Cocks-Instead-Of-Opinions Hour? Featuring Mr. Greene, the man who was wrong in LIKE A BILLION WAYS?

Yeah, honestly I felt like there wasn't enough depth to the information given. After reading it, I figured I would have liked it more if it was less an oral history and more just a history. The stories are interesting enough that they could have stood well on their own with color commentary provided from the…

Mr Tusks: livin' the dream

"Math doesn't matter, but you better be good at it or else you'll die alone and unrecognized. Also, you'll never ride a dinosaur, and alligators don't count."