It was pretty fun watching them hype that game on Sunday, though. "The Houston Texans are looking to get back on track, while the Jaguars are ready to fight," as if watching a bingo tournament at the local retirement home wouldn't have higher stakes than that.

Seeing my hometown Titans get somewhere sort of maybe in the same zip code as possibly coming close-ish to having a chance of beating the Seahawks earlier this year and then watching them get roundly whipped back into line was excruciatingly painful. So if you need someone to trash a Foot Locker with, I'm in.

Are you sure it's not a simple Failure, or perhaps a Secret Success?

Shouldn't you be the one to know?

Let's put on a show, everyone!

Chris Crocker: Today's entrant in the "Oh, that guy. Is he still alive?" game.

Tell me, Lance Reddick: Is all this voodoo witchcraft stuff related to The Pattern in any way?

There's also the three or four hours a day he spends perched in a tree just outside the borders of Emma Stone's property line

When I hear the phrase 'sandal drama' I expect a gentle period piece that takes place during the early summer months inside the women's section of a Shoe Carnival.

Everything just feels so . . . empty. The old design was pretty much solid, I have no idea why it was so necessary to stray from it. Was their anyone who was asking for something like this?

It definitely is. I spoke to an attorney shortly after my fiancee told me that she was surprised how big a deal Star Wars was for "not being very good movies."

Even more tangential but listening to Jared Leto's interview on Fresh Air a few days ago was absolutely infuriating, mainly because he sounds like he has at least a moderately interesting life story as well as a new album to talk about but no matter how many softball questions Terry Gross tossed him he would only…

Personally, I always thought the Robert Kennedy assassination theories had way more going for them. The strange placement of the wounds, plus Sirhan Sirhan's general out-of-left-fieldness, etc. But it usually ends up neglected. While the JFK assassination had a ton of weird stuff associated with it, stuff that doesn't…

That's one way of looking at it. Another is that his implementation of the emergency phone line was a smart tactical decision that averted a nuclear holocaust, he tried to talk MLK out of the rally at a time when other elements of the government were actively plotting to discredit or —indirectly— cause MLK's death…

Also have to think about the fact that Nixon brought the conflict to, what, Cambodia and Laos right? Would Kennedy have done that? Would LBJ have, if he had run for another term? Is there a point to getting angry about all this when it's all hypothetical and there's no way to really tell?

"Remember Billy, you can have any book that you want, as long as Jesus dies in it at some point."

The weird thing was that they let that guy stay in the Secret Service, at least until he was playing with his gun one day and accidentally shot Reagan.

I think it takes a pretty narrow-minded view of history to conclude that the Cuban Missile Crisis was Kennedy's "fault." I assume that's what you mean. After all, if you're going to go that route, why isn't it, say, Teddy Roosevelt and/or Dwight Eisenhower's "fault" for engendering the anti-American resentment across…

Malcolm McDonald?

Or, you could get a divorce.