I'm more excited about this than when they brought in Charlie Sheen to replace Micheal J. Fox on Spin City!!!

are you saying he let the contents of the bottle do the thinking?

Not me. I'm going to be conveniently comatose in a hospital during the initial uproar. That is the proven way to survive the initial onslaught. After that, it's free beer, fast cars, amusement parks, and wanton zombie killing as I search far and wide for one last fucking Twinkie.

Go to Canada and annoy Tom Green's parents. They've had it easy the last few years.

HOGAN!!!

I'm, like, feeling something. Are you aware of Garfield.

Here's hoping he closes the show with a rant that ends, "Muscular Dystrophy! You and me? We're fucking done, professionally."

Nah, I think this presents an opportunity to see the softer side of Don Rickles.

Are you trying to win the Rory Award?

Jeez, sorry grandma, relax. I didn't realize that the nice young orderly from the Rec Room had gotten your internet connection working again.

Call me when they schedule Jay Leno. I want to punch that hack right in the nutsack.

I'm sorry, you lost me at that bit about normally watching both Regis and Rachael Ray…

They're not s'mores. They're samosas.

I thought the lingering question was how many years will Adrian Grenier make it before he goes all Jan Michael Vincent.

Sadly none of the SEAL trick or treaters made through the drown-proofing exercise in my pool.

And yet when they made a movie called Falling Down, not a single ditzy broad took a spill.

Did you post that here because Penthouse Forum deemed it too fake to print?

Cheer up CB, my comment was meant for Rebecca.

You're one to talk.

$6,000 for a used cardigan? This will not stand, ya know, this inflation will not stand, man.