You should watch The Blind Side before critiquing it. I mean, I haven't seen it either because I'm sure it's stupid, however…

However, only three films in the Best Visual Effects category and not one of them is Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen. So that's a big Fuck You to Michael Bay… which is nice.

If I leave him alone for more than a few minutes I invariably return to find my Shepard fucking every sheep in the flock.

Uma? Oprah?

Chester Racoon taught me that little brothers are annoying.

Well Jamie Foxx does have that Sheneneh and Wanda film coming out so that should help restore his acting credibility, right?

Like I said, are you sure that's not Marilyn Manson in that photo?

She looks like Marilyn Manson's kid sister - literally.

I'd like to put a litta kesha on mah hot daahg

Keep fucking that chicken 3rd Prize.

Miss Vermont… Are the people of your state really really dumb or do they simply want the terrorists to win?

OK OK

I'm sure he rated them on their ability to wash dishes, their child-bearing hips and whether or not they would bring him a nice dry martini when he walks in the door after a tough day at the office.

I'm experiencing deja vu. It feels like we've met before except your name was Tom something then…

Soylent Green is people! Can you fucking believe that?

I can't believe there was an all-inclusive Sandals resort on the opposite side of the island the whole time.

Only in our dreams big fella.

I'm so excited I just leaked online a little myself.

Let's talk about

I thought I was the only person who drove around with their rear view mirror cranked to the vertical position.