She owes her career

Yeah sure, she can remember all this shit about crimes and criminals but when the sarge asks her how long the oil light has been blinking in the squad car she draws a blank.

Four, maybe five male groupies across the country are totally bummed out now.

MY EYES!!! AAAAUUUUUUURRRRRGGHHH!!!!

Didn't they have the same kind of confidence in Van Helsing? Look how that worked out.

Or a fire bush.

Conversely, to really get into this requires a lot less think-ing.

I've got yer "efficient protein-delivery system" right here.

Except for the ones with peanut allergies.

I always kind of liked Pearl Jam but in recent years, with the smoking American Spirit cigarettes and swigging red wine from the bottle onstage, Eddie Vedder has become a bit of an insufferable twat.

Well shit, look at what the original Wheaties did to Bruce Jenner. Do you want to end up looking like that?

I must inform you that I have grown quite angry… in fact I would compare the fire of my anger to those of Hades itself. Due to this anger, I have come to the conclusion that I will accept this current state of affairs no longer.

Unless Jessica Biel

So young ruffian, are you of the opinion that the odds are in your favor? I await your response.

Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.

Where do you want it, Bond?

Hey! I did not shoplift the pootie!

Will

Oh my…

Ima gonna let you finish…