Congratulations calf fiend. The AVClub has apparently endorsed your post by elevating it to firstie status through the deletion of the original.

Hey, you're right Robuttnik. TomWaits, I condemn you to a cross country car trip in a 1977 Chevy Chevette with an AM radio and no air conditioning. Your traveling companions will be Horsefellow, ZMF, and Dane Cook.

Ma and Pa thought that if you said my name fast the women would start lining up!

You got that right Frank. Totz, have you seen what that stuff does to kids?

While I respect the man's work, when weighing return on investment for my $400, this would lose out to alcohol and other vices.

Avoid the mesh underpants. They chafe like a motherfucker.

When posting comments about The Informant! all comments must end with an exclamation point!

One thing women ain't doing…

Baby got Bakula!

Can someone tell me why nobody asked Charlie if they could check the roof of his mouth, you know… just to be safe and all?

I thought what happened in Vegas stayed in Vegas?

Yeah, I know… I suck

Who?

Drown in a vat of lysine.

What about Cocksucker Blues?

More of a demon I'd say.

Unfortunately, all Satriani really wanted was some attention, a cute pet name, and a plate of bibimbop with kinpira carrots from Gwyneth.

The Angels

Somewhere Hal Sparks is kicking himself.

They were going to play, then Brett decided he wouldn't but then he said he did want to play after all so they got all ready but then he decided to wait a bit. By the time they hit the field it had rained but by then Brett had decided he was definitely going to play so everyone else just went along with him.