Preparation H feels good on the whole.

@Grenade, I've seen stills from the movie where she walks up a dock topless but apparently she's wearing little nipple covers or something.

G Pal has cute nicknames for all her close friends. I should know.

That chef is wearing a red string around his wrist. Doesn't that mean he's a Scientologist, Mormon, Methodist or some such made up religion?

I haven't been able to grasp why this film gets any attention, much less a festival showcase. Is it really the Diablo Cody / Juno connection? It just looks like a lame mash up retread of various horror and teen angst movie conventions from the last 20 years.

I'm surprised Ellen would want to take time away from washing and waxing her Portia to do this.

After dating Whoopie Goldberg and appearing in blackface, can Ted Danson ever really redeem himself?

Oh ahhh. So something like Fuzzy Puppy Industrial Sausage Press indicates total metal ass kicking.

Oh yeah, then it would totally rock. Good call Heche.

Bloody Panda?

Well shit, I never even heard about a bunch of these shows yet I feel no guilt about their subsequent failures.

Speaking of fathers, yours is turning his back on you in shame after that awful firstie attempt.

I am sick of these zombies stalking the Courtyard Marriott where I'm trying to get some sleep.

I never expected such a thing from REM.

What did the shambling dead zombie say to the teenage girl after sex?

I don't know what the fuck is going on here, but in the immortal words of Ross Perot, "That's just sad."

Ouch!

No shit Shelby. That's why I said "the NBA's" not "The Piston's" Jordan Rules. It was a play on words to call attention to the blatant favoritism that Jordan received.

It was a miracle I even got out of Longwood alive, this town full of men with big mouths and no guts. I mean if you can just picture it, the whole third floor of the hotel gutted by the blast and the street below showered in shards of broken glass and all the drunks pouring out of the dance halls staring up at the…

Don't get me wrong, Jordan was good but without the NBA's Jordan Rules there's no way Chicago wins six championships. Only Michael Jordan could pick up the ball at half court, run from one side of the court to the other without dribbling once, jog into lane, throw a shoulder into one defender, kick another in the…